Gen Y --The 20 something's thread

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Dazzled_by_Cullens
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Re: Gen Y --The 20 something's thread

Post by Dazzled_by_Cullens » Tue Jan 11, 2011 5:05 pm

Congrats to Miss Sassy Sarah and Codaniel

So HAPPY FOR YOU BOTH!! and can't wait to see you soon!!!

LOVE YA!! xxx
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MRK
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Re: Gen Y --The 20 something's thread

Post by MRK » Tue Jan 11, 2011 5:57 pm

Ally~No, oddly enough, I had NO idea (honest) it was purely just wishful thinking on my part...the best possible outcome I could EVER hope for!!!! :D

ETA: Wonders if Sarah still plans on Moving to Scotland by Becca with Cody or if she will stay in the states...hmmm...
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lulu
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Re: Gen Y --The 20 something's thread

Post by lulu » Tue Jan 11, 2011 7:37 pm

hey guys, i just wanted to say hi and apologize for disappearing right after i introduced myself a few pages back. i got sucked in over at rob's halfway house and simply don't have enough time for it all! i wish i did! you all sound so great. congrats to codaniel. :) -and thank you MRK for the b-day wishes, although my b-day is in march! :) anyway, i'll pop in from time to time. take care!

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Re: Gen Y --The 20 something's thread

Post by MRK » Tue Jan 11, 2011 7:51 pm

lulu wrote: thank you MRK for the b-day wishes, although my b-day is in march! :) anyway, i'll pop in from time to time. take care!
Sorry for the confusion, Lulu! I was actually saying Happy Birthday to Obieewoks daughter..her name is lulu as well!! :P
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pharmer4
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Re: Gen Y --The 20 something's thread

Post by pharmer4 » Wed Jan 12, 2011 7:28 am

G'Day Cappu
I'm sorry to hear that a bad experience with one dude (despite being a significant one) has put you off dudes totally. Fair enough if you were already deciding that for yourself, but to do so because of him is, I think, a shame. You could always throw a bit of dischord into his life - seduce his new girlfriend . . . . .(that'd be mean spirited though). Good luck with the gym!

G'Day Jasmine

OK, this is going to sound cynical - one of the reasons real friends are not as loyal as online friends, is because you can't log off - I don't mean to make that sound bad - I don't like all y'all because I can log off whenever I feel like it, but I do know that it takes away a lot of the burden of friendship.

When we discuss things online, it's more of a getaway from our own problems, because it is all mental (ie we are reading it to ourselves etc). When you have a real-life friend, it's all more visceral - you are experiencing it now and you can't leave it to a later time etc.

I'm really glad that I've got friends on here to come a chat to, and have them comment back on my comments ad infinitum, but in reality, if we were all living in the same town/village etc, we'd probably all talk less. It is, unfortunately, the nature of human interactions. I have a buddy here who lives two blocks away. I've not spoken to him in about 3 months, but I know we'll still be good buds when we see each other again.

The flip side of that is that by being friends that are "accessible in our own time", it makes us more loyal and invested, which can only be a good thing.

G'Day Ally

I like your blog writing style. I say, just write what comes naturally, that way it'll always feel genuine. Nice Dr Who work, btw.

G'Day Megan, Sarah, and Cody

Ahh, wedding stuff. Organising and initiating. It's all good, and really hope you enjoy yourselves. Nice work.




Regarding online friends versus real life I know I'm different in real life, because of a few things, mainly to do with the way emotions don't come across in typing very well. I have a very dry sense of humour, and often jokes I type fall flat, while in real life, they work if you are on my wavelength. I also talk at approximately 385miles an hour, which just doesn't come across in a post. I'm pretty introverted too, which means while I'm cool with people for a short period of time, I get tired and restless easily, which can make me look like an acewhole, when in fact I don't really know how to act around people.



On to my own stuff - I've resolved a lot of my personal life - for a few days I got very depressed, but physically rather than emotionally. My perception of what I was going through was very weird, because I knew exactly what was happening, and still it freaked me out a bit. My appetite dropped to zero, my anxiety levels increased (while I wasn't anxious specifically about things, small things frayed my patience very very quickly). My interest in things dwindled, and I couldn't stop having recurring thoughts.

Anyway, I apologised to my friend that I'd been using as a defacto counsellor, and for changing our relationship (as explained earlier). We are cool at work, which is excellent, but I've cut all communication outside of work, because it really was like an addiction for me, which is dramatically unhealthy.

I've also been to stay with my wife. I've basically stopped running from all of the issues I've had that I was using as an excuse to break our marriage. My own issues were certainly manifesting in our relationship, and I was unfairly dishing this out on my wife when she called me out on it. Basically, I decided to end our marriage because I wasn't capable of dealing with my own negativity, despite still loving her.

Now, we are going to see if we can put it all back together. She has built herself a new life in the 7 months since I broke us up, and I don't want her to lose that, so if she accepts, I'm going to move in to her rental house, and allow my sister and mother to live in the house I own. We're gonna keep a lot of our legal things separate, but we'll live together with the kids, and actually work on our issues and be a real couple, rather than two people living together and butting heads. We're even going to look into counselling (both singularly and as a couple) so that we don't bottle up our issues.
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MRK
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Re: Gen Y --The 20 something's thread

Post by MRK » Wed Jan 12, 2011 9:03 am

Pharmer~you have a gift for putting things the way I cannot...that is EXACTLY how I feel about online friends VS IRL friends. When you can be a friend on your timeline, it really does make a difference!
I am also really happy for you and your wife and hope that you can work on things without all the extras and figure out as a couple what you should do (marriage/divorce etc). I am very proud of you (does that seem weird?)that you are still trying to work through it because marriage can be insanely hard and it's nice to see people giving it all they've got...

Paulinha~my thoughts are still with ya girlie, even if you arent on here so much!

Honey~I know you're taking a break, but I hope the stressers are low and you're doing well

Sonia~If you're out there...*HUGS*

Lily~How is school going? Wedding planning?

Nina Nener~Miss you!!!
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Re: Gen Y --The 20 something's thread

Post by SarahGoddard » Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:29 pm

Aww thank you!

You are all mega sweet and absolutly AMAZING! Thank you :D

I'm super excited about it (well d'uh!) I was so nervous about telling my mum though - I made him do it! :P She was cool though, her only worry was that we'd do (quote - her words not mine!) "A quickie"...cheers mum...cheers for that choice of phrase!

WSe havnt figured out all the practical plans yet (where we'll get married, where we'll live) we need to look into all the legal implications of each scenario...joy of joys! But then we can start the fun part of planning and organising. Already have like a million ideas. I'm gonna need a book. I'm such a Monica! :D

Pharmer, I really am sorry to hear about all the crappy stuff you've had to deal with but I'm REALLY pleased you and your wife are going to work on your stuff and try again. Its really phenomonal and I think that once your able to start working through your stuff together you'll find it makes you even stronger than you were before.

I'm rooting for you. Keep smilng :)

Ok humongus sappy love fest, group hugs, smooches and huggles to you all! :mrgreen:
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lulu
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Re: Gen Y --The 20 something's thread

Post by lulu » Wed Jan 12, 2011 3:54 pm

by MRK » Tue Jan 11, 2011 8:51 pm

Sorry for the confusion, Lulu! I was actually saying Happy Birthday to Obieewoks daughter..her name is lulu as well!!
oh! :D got it, thanks!

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Re: Gen Y --The 20 something's thread

Post by jasmine » Thu Jan 13, 2011 1:03 pm

@pharmer, i think i might be a bit different then most ppl who have online friends: i talk about them irl to others, like i know them irl aswell. For me, there isnt really a difference between real life or online. the only real difference is the distance, and even that can be overcome sometimes. A friend for me is a friend, in every way. Doesnt matter if i ever saw them irl either. Hell ive met my bf's that way aswell, hahaha. For me online friends are much easier to become friends with, because ppk tend to tell more about theirselves. that way the first barrier is gone, and its much easier to become friends.

On the marriage part: i think its really brave of you to look in the mirror and look at all the negative things in your mind/life. Its not a simple task and many walk away from it. Im not sure of its the right move to go back togetehr, since i dont know all the details. But it certainly is a very adult thing to do, especially after thinking it through thourougly and after talking about it with eachother. I really hope you get back together if you really love eachother. Not just for you, but also for your kids. Ive learned that communication is key in a relationship, -especially- the bad and negative things. EVen though those are usually not the things you -want- or -like- to talk about, these are the things that can make you're life a living hell if you dont. Letting it out can lift the tension and create awareness and understanding for both.
So yeah, i really hope everything works out for you, you deserve some happiness :)

me, not much to tell, i think im getting sick...i might have the flu. Ive been sleeping a LOT lately, and today i started feeling ill, having cold sweat and just not a fun time. Especially since I was at work. Hopefully my resisitance is big enough to sleep through it, and still have a nice tim at bodyworlds tomorrow. we'll see :)
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Re: Gen Y --The 20 something's thread

Post by roseaurora » Fri Jan 14, 2011 4:35 pm

Hello Lexilings! :wave:

On another of my breaks...

Ally- I would love to answer any questions you may have about the LSAT, applying to schools, law school itself, etc... send them my way :)

Sarah and Cody- Congratulations! How exciting!!! :clap:

Sarah- Thanks for the info on national flowers! I'm still debating the tattoo in my head but definitely good to know if we ever get to do embassy duty!

Megs- Thanks! I have definitely had a very busy last month or so! Now that my only focus is studying at least the chaos is mostly gone but I never realized how exhausting studying can be (I was always that annoying person who managed to float by withou lots of studying, even in law school... doesn't work so well for the bar...)

Janny's mentioning of the upcoming royal wedding reminded me how way too fan-girl excited I am for the whole thing!!! AND its on my BIRTHDAY! I'm sure London will be a complete zoo but I will be clued to the TV for sure! Even though William has sadly begun to resemble his dad more and more over the years I can't help but still have a crush on the guy!

Pharmer- How great it is for you to self-reflect as you have and make the decision to work on yourself and your marriage. I did the same thing the summer of 09. We separated and I started counseling, then we started counseling together and then we were back together. It hasn't been easy and we still have a lot to work on, but I feel better knowing that we are giving it all we've got. We don't have children yet and I am not willing to even consider them until we have worked on our biggest issue- communication. Best of luck to you, and no matter the outcome you will always know you gave it your all!

Alright, I've exceeded my 10 minutes, oh well... back to it I go...

:write: <--- writers block? the new smiles are cute, even if I'm not sure what some of them are for....

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